We have been discussing self-care: finding time for you, pretty hot and heavy on the blog lately.
We know it’s important. We know we have to do it or suffer the ugly consequences. And we’ve started to schedule that special time with ourselves, along with using our Daily Activity Tracker, to find the time we need. If you’re just tuning in, you can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
But Trish, you didn’t warn me about the challenges I would face from my family once I embarked on making self-care a habit!
That’s right, Fancy Pants, I didn’t. On purpose. Now before you get mad at me, hear me out. If I had told you your kids would rebel with every bone in their body, would you have found your 10 minutes? If I had told you your husband would continue to sit in the recliner and not help out around the house during those 10 minutes, would you have scheduled it? If I had told you that you, yourself, would rebel and have all these guilty, self-inflicted thoughts, would you have participated with me?
The answer to all of the above is: NO! I know you wouldn’t have, because I’ve been there myself.
Let’s have a seat on the couch and see if you can find yourself somewhere in this story line. When I first started playing tennis, if you remember from my previous post, I went in “kicking and screaming”. Both of my kids challenged this change in our evening routine. I would hear questions such as, “Tennis, again? Didn’t you play tennis already this week? Mom, why do you have to play tennis?”
The kids didn’t like the change, didn’t understand the change, and were giving me a seriously hard time about it. They just knew Mom was going to cave in to their pleas. As usual. But I didn’t. And I’m so thankful.Change makes life fresh and adventurous. ~Trish from Jewels by Trish Click To Tweet
Here are the factors I have found that most women use to resist taking care of themselves:
- I feel selfish.
- I feel guilty.
- My kids don’t understand or complain about my time away from them.
- I have too many commitments.
- I am afraid/refuse to ask for help.
- I don’t have time: We already took care of that one with our Daily Activity Tracker. (Click here if you missed that printable: ActivityTracker)
And here are the tools to kick those excuses, cuz they are just that, to the curb:
- You teach others how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. Do you want your daughter struggling with this issue? Then show her, model it for her.
- Ask your husband for help; tell him what you need. I’d bet you money that he just doesn’t even think about it. Not because he doesn’t care, but because men are just wired differently. Ask him, for example, to empty the dishwasher while you soak your feet for 10 minutes. Tell him why it’s important to you. Communicate.
- Sit your kids down and talk to them. Again, communicate. It’s hard, it makes you feel sweaty. I understand. But your whole family will benefit.
- Too many commitments. Learn to say no. You don’t have to say no up front; tell the person you need to think about it before committing, and you’ll get back with them later.
- You feel selfish and guilty. Stop it! Just stop it! (See quote below. Refer to it often.)
Now, I promised last month to show you a little mini-adventure I scheduled time for; something that had been on my list, but I had never pushed myself to do.
There is a cute little antique store here called, La Trouvaille Antiques & Afterthoughts. Every time I drive by, I tell myself how much I want to go there; so I finally did it!
I was so excited when I drove up! Lots of visual items outside tempting you, aged doors, an earthy outhouse, plus old-timey fountains. I was pleasantly surprised to find the store was bigger than it looked. It had one really large room and several smaller rooms that you could get lost in for hours. I drooled over antique furniture, jewelry, lacy clothing, farm items, old-fashioned lamps, and more.
The store was actually quite busy, so I only snapped a few pictures:
So have I convinced you yet, Fancy Pants? Do you promise to take better care of yourself? Don’t worry, we’ll keep talking. Until then, I leave you with a few final thoughts…
*YOU are WORTH making time for.
*Be a positive role model for other girls and women.
*Time never slows down; it speeds up. Take YourRightNow.
I’d love to hear more about your time. Please share with me in the comments. And on social media, tag me with #YourRightNow. Until next time…